Here with You, Through Thick and Thin
Looking at Ruby Lee interacting confidently with those around her, one would find it hard to believe that just a few years ago, this bubbly teenager was painfully shy and closed off from those around her.
Unlike most children in Singapore, Ruby's birth was not registered until she was 11 years old, so she did not attend kindergarten or primary school. Growing up, the small rental flat she shared with her parents was her entire world, and the only education she received comprised the Mandarin phrases her father taught her. Ruby's father, Mr Lee Kia Por, was plagued by chronic health issues and heart problems, and his wife was also severely ill. When Ruby was 11, the family lost Mrs Lee to cancer. As Mr Lee's poor health made it near impossible for him to find work, the father-daughter pair could only depend on ComCare to cover their living expenses. Acutely aware that her circumstances differed from others, Ruby was quiet from young, passing the days, doing nothing in particular.
Given a new lease on life
“At first, Ruby didn’t have much confidence and was reluctant to learn, so guiding her was no walk in the park. We thought of various ways to help her enjoy learning and chatted with her to build camaraderie.”
In 2016, Mr Lee had to undergo a heart bypass surgery, which became a turning point for him and Ruby.
"I am actually thankful I had to go under the knife because the hospital staff found out about our plight and contacted the CDAC on our behalf. The CDAC has been helping us since then, and I am most grateful for this," explains Mr Lee.
Mr Lee says Ruby was a withdrawn child who didn't talk much, but she has become cheerful and chatty over the past few years. "It isn't easy for Ruby to come out of her shell, and it makes me happy to see her interact with others so cheerfully,” says the 67-year-old doting father.
17-year-old Ruby started Secondary 1 earlier this year and is not bothered about being older than other students in the same level. She says, “I really like my school and classmates. We have to pick Co-Curricular Activities this year, and I chose to join a musical group. My teacher suggested I pick up the euphonium, a brass wind instrument that is heavy but fun to learn.”
Mr Lee’s pride at his daughter’s transformation is perceivable whenever he speaks of her. “I don’t understand English, but I like hearing her talk to her friends in English, and it fills me with joy when she chatters about what happened at school.”
“Thanks to the volunteer tutors at CDAC, Ruby not only caught up academically but is thriving in school, so I am thankful for CDAC's help. In particular, Ms Connie Tan, Assistant Manager of CDAC's Family Support and Development department, is one of the guardian angels who always answers our questions and calls for help in any way she can.”
Holistic and effective case management
Just as Mr Lee remembers her fondly, Connie also has a deep impression of Mr Lee and Ruby.
"At CDAC, we handle a wide variety of cases, but Ruby and Mr Lee's circumstances make them the most unique case I have handled," says Connie. “Ruby could not go to school as she did not have a birth certificate. Mr Lee could not work because of his poor health. The family had no income and needed help on multiple fronts, from financial assistance to social, educational, and psychological support."
Connie and her team at the FSD Department took a specialised case management approach for Mr Lee and Ruby's case to identify how best to help them. “After assessing the circumstances, we tackled the issues in phases based on what Mr Lee and Ruby needed most.”
“In phase one, we contacted the Ministry of Social and Family Development to submit an appeal. In 2017, Ruby finally got issued a birth certificate and was no longer without an official identity. With this, we arranged for a volunteer Lim Chay Bee from our kidsREAD programme to teach Ruby basic English and guide her in reading practices to prep her for primary school," Connie explains.
"In phase two, under MSF's guidance and with the combined efforts from various social service agencies, we enrolled Ruby in school and had a volunteer from the Supervised Homework Group (SHG) provide her with one-on-one academic guidance, helping Ruby find confidence and courage to talk to others through the encouragement and influence of peers around her age.”
“In phase three, we helped Ruby apply for a bursary and provided interim financial support. We also encouraged Mr Lee to attend parenting talks to help him recognise the importance of allowing Ruby to get an education,” elaborates Connie. “We hope that with the various assistance schemes provided for the family and Ruby, Mr Lee can face life’s challenges head-on with optimism to make life better for the family.”
Volunteers with Heart
“After assessing the circumstances, we tackled the issues in phases based on what Mr Lee and Ruby needed most.”
73-year-old volunteer tutor Lee Kwai Peng Vivien has given Ruby tuition for years. “From Primary 2 to 6, I gave her English, Maths, and Science lessons once a week during the school term and twice a week during school holidays. Ruby didn’t have any foundation, so progress was slow at first, but she improved by leaps and bounds over time. It was heartening to witness her growth, and I feel an immense sense of achievement,” says Vivien Lee.
Tan Xue Ling, Tan Poh Jee, Ong Qing Qing, and Chan Xin Ying were Ruby’s SHG mentors at different levels when she was in primary school, and the four remember Ruby clearly as well. Poh Jee guided Ruby when she was in Primary 2 and 3 and recalls the challenges she faced then. “At first, Ruby didn’t have much confidence and was reluctant to learn, so guiding her was no walk in the park. We thought of various ways to help her enjoy learning and chatted with her to build camaraderie. Ruby’s favourite subject was Chinese, and she enjoyed doing Chinese homework, so we would leave her favourite to the last and encourage her to finish other assignments first. I’m thrilled to see her improve,” says Poh Jee.
Ong Qing Qing, an undergraduate at NTU, volunteers with the CDAC on weekends and was the SHG mentor when Ruby was in Primary 4 and 5. She says, “Ruby’s Chinese was stronger, so I tried to translate part of the English and Science content and explained them to her in Mandarin so that she could understand better. Through this process, her English improved, and so did my Chinese, so it was a win-win situation!”
“She asked me about life at university, and I would share my experiences with her and encourage her to study hard and try for a place in university when she’s older,” says Qing Qing of the meaningful experiences she shared with Ruby.
While her former SHG mentors speak fondly of her, Ruby also shares her adoration for these “big sisters”. Ruby says, “They taught me a lot and constantly encouraged and helped me become more confident and find my zest for life.”
Mr Lee, too, holds deep gratitude to the volunteers who have touched Ruby’s life. “I’m a single father, and it’s sometimes challenging to parent her appropriately in her pubescent years. I’m so thankful for these volunteers who are like Ruby’s “big sisters”, extending care and support when she is uncertain about school, biological changes, or life in general, offering their friendship and emotional support. These volunteers have helped Ruby become more confident and cheerful, and their support has completely turned her life around.”
Left: Connie Tan ■ Tan Poh Jee ■ Lee Kwai Peng Vivien ■ Lee Huiying ■ Mr Lee Kia Por Ong ■ Ong Qing Qing
